
Morbid? Yep. Rude? If the occasion calls for it. Brutally honest? You bet. I really hope you didn't come here expecting flowers and frills, because that's not what you'll find. This is who I am, and I offer no apologies for what I think and how I feel. I'm not asking you to love me, or even respect me; allow me the freedom to exist and be myself and may the same be given in return. I know the difference between reality and fantasy, do you? I'm firmly planted in the soil of reality, are you?
"A poor fool indeed is he who adapts a manner of thinking for others! My manner of thinking stems straight from my considered reflections; it holds with my existence, with the way I am made. It is not in my power to alter it; and were it, I'd not do so."
~ Marquis de Sade, 1783
If I could design one room in my house to suit only my needs, I would create a combination of an office and a bedroom. My theme would be red and black, and heavily influenced by carnivals and circuses. If would be a large, spacious, lofty room, with dim, soft lighting and a black marble floor. Three of the walls would be black, the fourth would be painted in red and black diamond patterns.
In this perfect room, I would have a computer for writing and doing homework. Not just any computer -- a flat screen Dell, on a red wood desk. I would have a flat screen, high definition television in this room, with a VCR, DVD player, and a large collection of horror movies to entertain myself with.
In contrast to all of the technology, I would have a large shelf filled with books -- horror novels by all of the greats, such as Stephen King and Clive Barker. True crime books about the things people have actually done. Books about Ancient Egyptian culture and mythology, the Aztec empire, and extra terrestrial life. I would keep copies of Shakespeare's works, housed right next door to comics written by Rob Zombie. It would be my shelf for inspiration in writing my own horror tales.
By bed would be done in a red and black to match the harlequin theme of the room -- a water bed with a canopy fit for a queen. The dresser and vanity would be carved from wood that matched the computer desk. A lavish crushed velvet comforter would dangle lazily from the bed, pooling on marble floor in a crumpled heap.
I would keep Venus fly traps and cacti for ornamentation, and they would grow wild near the balcony window. Finally, I would have an aquarium, with two or three large piranha swimming about. When my day was going badly, I could drop a steak in with my carnivorous fish and watch with delight as they ripped it to shreds.
In a perfect world, this room would open up into a large balcony, over looking the sandy beach and warm ocean far below.